After experiencing my own unplanned pregnancy and later working at a crisis pregnancy resource center everything that I ever thought about being pro-life completely changed.
I realized that before I got some perspective, I actually wasn’t very pro-life at all.
Yes, I believed that abortion was wrong, so in that sense I was pro-life, but now I know better.
Being pro-life does not JUST mean you are against abortion, and that you want to save the lives of the innocent unborn.
Yes, that is of course a very fundamental part of being pro-life, but there is so much more to it, and if we fail to miss these other key aspects, then we actually fail to be truly pro-life.
Protecting and defending life is an all encompassing call. It is not just about the babies, it is about their mothers, their fathers, and their families. Yes, people need to speak for the unborn when they don’t have a voice, but if that is the primary focus, we are completely missing the mark.
Hello….the mother is the one who ultimately decides the fate of her child, so if we aren’t pursuing the healing, and genuine interest of her life, then we are utterly failing.
In fact, if I’m completely honest, when I was in the midst of my unplanned pregnancy, the slogans out there like “abortion makes you the mother of a dead child” “quit killing babies” made me resent the pro-life movement. For the woman in the crisis (THE VERY WOMEN THAT ARE CONSIDERING ABORTION, THE WOMEN WE NEED TO REACH THE MOST) this is a huge mistake.
Why might you ask?
Well, it is simple.
When you only focus on saving the life of the baby, you fail to acknowledge something very important…..and that is, that the mother’s life needs to be saved too. Did we already forget that the very women who find themselves in unplanned pregnancies and who are considering abortion are very broken, afraid, and alone? They need some serious, genuine love and support. But, quite frankly, when there is all this hollering for the babies….the woman in the crisis thinks she is forgotten.
She thinks everyone just cares about the baby, no one cares about her.
She is desperately crying out, “No one cares about how traumatically my life has changed, no one cares about my future, no one cares about my dreams, no one cares about helping me!”
We CANNOT forget about the mothers, fathers, and families of the unborn.
1) Volunteer at or financially support Pregnancy Resource Centers. These are places that offer FREE services like pregnancy tests, and ultrasounds to women as well as options counseling. They typically offer parenting classes and provide real life resources for women who choose life. They are actively working to help the woman and her family before, during, and after the birth of her child. They also don’t just stop at helping women who choose life…they also provide healing and counseling programs for the women who have been hurt by abortion.
2) Offer up your home to single women who are pregnant and may need a safe haven. Some girls that choose life are kicked out of their own homes, or they are so ashamed and embarrassed that they need a safe place to be.
3) Change the language! A big reason women are choosing abortion is simply because they are afraid of what people will think or say if they find out they got pregnant. (This was my biggest fear!) This means, create a culture of life, instead of death and gossip. Instead of saying “Did you hear who got pregnant?” say “Did you hear who chose life?” Wow…what a different way to approach the same topic. One is gossip driven, and one is life affirming and compassionate.
Another simple thing to do is compliment pregnant women…(this goes for ANY pregnant woman). Often times if a woman appears to be young, pregnant, and without a ring on her finger, she gets stares. And those stares are cruel. So, instead of staring, tell her how beautiful she looks. Single, unmarried pregnant women are not affirmed enough on their worth, which is why it is so challenging to choose life.
4) If you are parents….when you have “the talk” with your daughter, explicitly tell her something like this, “I hope you are never in this situation, but you NEED to know that if you ever found yourself pregnant, we will still LOVE YOU and will do everything we can to support you, don’t ever be afraid that we won’t be there for you if that happens.” Explicitly tell her that if she finds herself pregnant you will support her and LOVE her. I “knew” that was the case with my parents, but they never explicitly said that, so the devil planted seeds of doubt and made me question whether or not they would support me…and when you doubt that, it makes it so much easier to rationalize an abortion.
5) Offer to babysit! Single moms need help!!! If we are to be pro-life and not let single moms and their children slip into poverty we need to help them by offering childcare so they can work, or finish school to provide for their family and get on their feet. I know if my family didn’t help me with watching AvaMarie, I would not have been able to graduate college.
If we actually address the real reasons behind abortion (fear of judgment, lack of love and support, lack of resources, culture of sexism) Women would stop getting abortions because they would know they are supported and loved!!! Women in unplanned pregnancies would no longer think of themselves as screw-ups and would instead receive healing and recovery through a REAL culture of life.
I’ve seen and experienced the FEAR of being judged or unloved as the primary factor in abortion, and these tips would hopefully eliminate that fear.
If we are to fight for the unborn, we are to fight for the mothers just as much! Love them both!
Life is beautiful. The unborn life is beautiful AND the mothers life is beautiful.
Check out this shirt design to help spread a more positive culture of life and dignity…available in the Etsy Shop