I want to share a spiritual practice that has transformed my life in countless ways. But first, let's dive into some quotes about motherhood that really hit home.
Quotes on Motherhood
St. Zelie Martin, who was married to St. Louis and mother of St. Therese of Lisieux and Servant of God Leonie, said:
"Oh well, that's the day so far and it’s only noon. If this continues I will be dead by this evening. You see at the moment, life seems so heavy for me to bear, and I don’t have the courage because everything looks black to me."
St. Francis de Sales, in his book "Roses Among Thorns," wrote:
"We must suffer greatly from children while they are young; they hurt the one who nourishes them. We must suffer those who annoy us - but let us continue to cultivate well."
Sterling Jaquith, speaker and author of "Catholic Mom Calm," remarked:
"What people don’t realize is that toddler tantrums are an assaultive experience for the brain. Enduring another person who can’t control their body or emotions is assaultive and puts you in a stress response."
The Struggles of Motherhood
As these quotes from amazing Catholic women and saints show, motherhood is tough. It’s a struggle, often unappreciated by the world. It’s lonely, demanding, isolating, and incredibly stressful. And if we’re not careful, it can become a breeding ground for negativity.
As mothers, we are vulnerable. We are the devil’s biggest threat to humanity because we care for children and bring new life into the world. We must remember that our wellness is not just a nice option—it’s mandatory. A mother’s wellness is essential.
True Wellness vs. Superficial Self-Care
True wellness is intentional and often slow-moving. It’s not the superficial “self-care” we hear about, like drinking a glass of wine or shopping on Amazon. While those might give a quick dopamine hit, they don’t solve the deeper issues. True wellness requires mindfulness, gratitude, and reflective practices.
My Journey with the Examen
Back in grad school, while studying school counseling, I discovered research on social-emotional wellness through gratitude, mindfulness, reflective meditation, and action plans. As a single mom at 21, stressed and sleep-deprived, I needed all the help I could get. It was during this time that I had a major reconversion to my faith, which I took seriously for my sake and my daughter’s sake.
Despite being raised Catholic, I struggled to experience God’s presence in my daily life. I didn’t have the time or energy to read spiritual books or study the saints or go to daily Mass. I felt like I didn't have the time and energy to really deepen my faith.
Then, I stumbled upon “The Examen,” a reflective prayer practice from Ignatian spirituality, created by St. Ignatius of Loyola. The Examen guides you to experience God in your everyday life, in the simplest moments. And guess what? It only takes 5-10 minutes per day! Game-changer for me.
The Examen and Its Benefits
The Examen aligned perfectly with the wellness strategies I was learning in grad school. It incorporates mindfulness, gratitude, and reflective meditation—evidence-based practices that reduce anxiety and depression. The five components of the Examen are:
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Calling to Mind God’s Presence: This is similar to mindfulness. It involves being present with yourself and with God, noticing your body and breath. This step helps reduce anxiety, which is often caused by worrying about the future rather than focusing on the present.
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Gratitude: Reflecting on the things you are thankful for each day. Authentic gratitude, even in the midst of hardships, helps you see the blessings and gifts God has given you, improving your mood and outlook.
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Mindful Review of Your Day: Reflecting on what happened during the day, paying attention to your emotions and where God was present. This practice helps you identify stressors and areas for improvement, both spiritually and practically.
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Acknowledging the Not-So-Great Parts: Bringing your struggles to God, asking for forgiveness and help. This step invites God into your mess and allows you to receive His love, reassurance, and grace.
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Commitment to Improvement: Making a commitment to live the next day better, with hope and encouragement from God. Essentially–forward thinking and being more proactive.
I’d like to invite you to practice a daily Examen with me.
PS: Here is our Examen Journal created just for you!
