How to Pray the Ignatian Examen: A Simple Daily Examen for Catholic Mothers (and Families)

A Gentle Nightly Reset for Catholic Moms (Even on the Hard Days)

I want to share a spiritual practice that has transformed my life in countless ways—especially in the hidden, exhausting, holy work of motherhood. Before we get practical, I want to begin with a few voices that understand what it feels like when the day is heavy… and it’s only noon.

Jump to:

• Quotes on Motherhood
• The Struggles of Motherhood (and Why It Matters Spiritually)
• True Wellness vs. Superficial Self-Care
• My Journey with the Examen
• What Is the Ignatian Examen?
• How to Do the Daily Examen (Step-by-Step)
• A “Real Life” Examen for Moms Who Are Tired
• A Kid-Friendly Examen (Bedtime Routine)
• Tools to Help You Stay Consistent
• Pray the Daily Examen With Me (Video)
• FAQs

Quick help: If you want a simple place to start tonight, browse our Ignatian Examen inspired products or our Prayer & Devotion collection for gentle, faith-filled tools that support daily prayer.

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Quotes on Motherhood

St. Zélie Martin—wife of St. Louis Martin and mother of St. Thérèse of Lisieux—once wrote words that feel startlingly modern in their honesty:

"Oh well, that's the day so far and it’s only noon. If this continues I will be dead by this evening. You see at the moment, life seems so heavy for me to bear, and I don’t have the courage because everything looks black to me."

St. Francis de Sales, in his book Roses Among Thorns, wrote:

"We must suffer greatly from children while they are young; they hurt the one who nourishes them. We must suffer those who annoy us - but let us continue to cultivate well."

Sterling Jaquith, speaker and author of Catholic Mom Calm, remarked:

"What people don’t realize is that toddler tantrums are an assaultive experience for the brain. Enduring another person who can’t control their body or emotions is assaultive and puts you in a stress response."

These women and saints aren’t romanticizing motherhood. They’re telling the truth. Motherhood is holy—but it can also be hard in ways you can’t fully explain until you live it. And that honesty matters, because spiritual growth doesn’t happen in a pretend world. It happens in the real one: noise, mess, exhaustion, interruptions, and love that costs you something.

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The Struggles of Motherhood (and Why It Matters Spiritually)

As these quotes show, motherhood can be tough. It can feel unappreciated by the world. It can be lonely, demanding, isolating, and incredibly stressful. Some days you are doing twenty things at once and still feel behind. Some days you try your best and someone cries anyway. Some days you love your children more than your own life and still feel like you’re failing.

When we’re not careful, those pressures can become a breeding ground for negativity: resentment, self-criticism, comparison, discouragement, fear. And those are not small things. They shape our interior life and spill into our relationships—especially the relationships we care about most.

There’s also a spiritual reality we can name with clarity: mothers are under attack. Not because you are “bad at prayer,” or “not strong enough,” but because the devil hates love that gives life. Mothers nurture life physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You are forming souls, shaping a home culture, and praying (even when you don’t feel like you’re praying) through your sacrifices.

That’s why a mother’s wellness isn’t just a nice option—it’s essential. But here’s the key: for Catholic women, wellness is not just “self-improvement.” It’s stewardship of the life God has entrusted to you. It’s making room for grace to restore you. It’s building an interior rhythm that keeps your heart soft, your mind clear, and your soul anchored—even when your day is chaotic.

And the good news? God does not demand that you become a different person to be faithful. He invites you to meet Him as you are, and to let Him transform your ordinary life from the inside out.

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True Wellness vs. Superficial Self-Care

True wellness is intentional—and often slow-moving. It’s not the superficial “self-care” we hear about, like drinking a glass of wine or impulse-buying something online (even if those things feel like a break in the moment). Those quick dopamine hits rarely touch what’s underneath: the mental load, the anxiety, the shame spiral, the overthinking, the feeling that you’re always “on.”

Real wellness isn’t about escaping your life. It’s about learning how to live your life with peace. It’s about building habits that restore you in a way that holds up when the house is loud and your body is tired. It’s about forming an interior posture of trust and gratitude, rather than panic and control.

And here’s what surprised me: the Church has been offering this kind of wellness for centuries—not as a trend, not as a hack, but as a spiritual path. When you look at the best of Catholic spiritual tradition, you find practices that help your mind, your emotions, and your soul. Practices that teach you to notice, to repent without despair, to receive grace, and to move forward with hope.

One of the simplest and most powerful of those practices is the Ignatian Examen.

If you’re craving tools that support prayer in everyday life (especially in seasons that feel intense), you may love exploring our Prayer & Devotion collection—it’s curated for real-life Catholics who want faith to feel doable, not heavy.

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My Journey with the Examen

Back in grad school, while studying school counseling, I discovered research on social-emotional wellness through gratitude, mindfulness, reflective meditation, and action plans. As a single mom at 21—stressed and sleep-deprived—I needed all the help I could get.

It was during this time that I had a major reconversion to my faith, which I took seriously for my sake and my daughter’s sake. Even though I was raised Catholic, I struggled to experience God’s presence in my daily life. I didn’t have the time or energy to read spiritual books, study the saints, or go to daily Mass. I felt like my faith was “real,” but it was also… difficult to sustain in the small moments that made up my day.

Then I stumbled upon “the Examen”—a reflective prayer practice from Ignatian spirituality, created by St. Ignatius of Loyola. The Examen guides you to experience God in your everyday life, in the simplest moments. And guess what? It only takes 5–10 minutes per day. That was a game-changer for me.

Because motherhood is not usually a season where you can “add” more. It’s a season where you need something that fits into what’s already there. Something small enough to keep, but deep enough to change you.

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What Is the Ignatian Examen?

The Ignatian Examen (also called the daily Examen) is a short prayer of reflection—often prayed at the end of the day—that helps you notice God’s presence in your real life. Not just in church. Not just during “perfect prayer time.” But in the ordinary places: the kitchen, the carpool line, the tantrum, the laughter, the moment you held your tongue, the moment you didn’t, the moment you felt alone, the moment you were surprised by grace.

The Examen is not primarily about “beating yourself up.” It’s about becoming aware. It’s about receiving truth with mercy. It’s a practice of gratitude, honesty, and hope—anchored in the conviction that God is near, God is active, and God is patient.

In a world that trains us to scroll, react, and rush, the Examen trains you to pause and see. Over time, it gently shapes your interior life. It helps you recognize patterns (both healthy and unhealthy), respond with humility, and ask God for the grace you need for tomorrow.

If you’re new to Ignatian spirituality, you might enjoy browsing our Ignatian Examen inspired products. They’re designed to make this prayer feel approachable—especially if you’re beginning from scratch or returning after a long season of dryness.

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How to Do the Daily Examen (Step-by-Step)

The classic Examen is often described in five movements. You can pray it in 5 minutes or take 15. You can do it sitting in silence, whispering in the dark, or journaling at the table while the dishwasher runs. The “perfect” method matters less than consistency.

1. Call to mind God’s presence
   Begin by becoming aware that God is here. You might simply pray: “Lord, help me see my day the way You see it.” Take a slow breath. Relax your shoulders. You’re not performing—you’re receiving.

   For moms: If your nervous system is in overdrive, this step matters. You are telling your body and your soul: I am safe with God.

2. Gratitude
   Thank God for the gifts of the day. Try to name specific moments: a good conversation, a child’s giggle, the strength to finish a task, the grace to apologize, the fact that you made it through.

   Tip: Gratitude doesn’t deny hardship. It helps you see that hardship is not the whole story.

3. Review the day (mindfully)
   Walk through your day with attention. Notice your emotions: Where were you peaceful? Where were you tense? Where did you feel loved? Where did you feel reactive? Ask: “Jesus, where were You in this?”

   This is where the Examen becomes a gentle kind of spiritual “data”—not for judgment, but for understanding.

4. Acknowledge the not-so-great parts
   Bring your failures, frustrations, and sins to God without fear. Ask for forgiveness where needed. Ask for healing where you’re wounded. Ask for light where you’re confused.

   Important: Catholic repentance is never meant to end in despair. It ends in mercy, because Jesus is the Savior—not you.

5. Look ahead with hope (commitment to growth)
   Ask for one grace for tomorrow: patience, courage, clarity, gentleness, self-control, the ability to rest, the ability to speak kindly, the humility to ask for help. Then entrust tomorrow to God.

   This step turns reflection into formation. It’s where you stop replaying the day and start receiving what you need to live the next one.

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A “Real Life” Examen for Moms Who Are Tired

Let’s make this even more practical, because sometimes the idea of “praying the Examen” can feel like one more thing on your list. Here’s a simplified Examen that works in real life—when you’re tired, touched-out, and your brain feels like a browser with 27 tabs open.

1) One breath: “Jesus, You’re here.”

That’s it. Don’t overcomplicate it. Breathe in: “Jesus.” Breathe out: “You’re here.” If you can do that, you’ve already begun.

2) One gratitude: “Thank You for…”

Name one gift. If the day was brutal, choose something tiny: a warm drink, a child’s safety, a friend’s text, the fact that you kept going.

3) One honest moment: “That was hard.”

Pick one moment that felt heavy. Offer it to God. You are not burdening Him; you are inviting Him.

4) One grace for tomorrow: “Please help me with…”

Ask for one specific grace: “Help me speak gently at breakfast.” “Help me rest instead of doom-scrolling.” “Help me not assume the worst.”

Prayed this way, the Examen becomes less like a “task” and more like a nightly return to your center—your heart with God. Over time, those small returns change you.

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A Kid-Friendly Examen (Bedtime Routine)

If you’re a mom, you already know: bedtime is sacred ground. It can also be chaos. But it’s one of the best times to introduce a family Examen—because the day is ending, hearts are softer, and children are already practicing “review” as they talk about what happened.

The key is to keep it simple, warm, and consistent. Kids don’t need a lecture. They need a rhythm.

A simple family Examen (2–4 minutes)

1. God is here: “Jesus, thank You for being with us today.”
2. What was good? “What’s one good thing that happened today?”
3. What was hard? “What was one hard thing today?”
4. Where did we love? “When did you show love? When was it hard to be kind?”
5. One prayer for tomorrow: “Jesus, please help us tomorrow with…”

For little ones, it helps to have a tangible guide—something they recognize as “our bedtime prayer.” That’s why we love tools that are made specifically for children.

Try this: My First Examen (board book) is designed to guide kids through reflection in an age-appropriate, gentle way—perfect for families who want to build a nightly habit without overwhelm.

And if you want to browse other faith-filled prayer tools for family life, explore our Prayer & Devotion collection.

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Tools to Help You Stay Consistent

Consistency is where spiritual practices become spiritual formation. And in motherhood, consistency usually requires support—something that reduces friction and makes the habit easier to keep.

I’d Like to Invite You to Practice a Daily Examen With Me

Sometimes it helps to see it done, especially if you’re new or you’ve tried before and couldn’t stick with it. Here’s a simple invitation to pray the Examen with me:

PS: Here is our Daily Examen Journal created just for you!

  

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FAQs

When should I pray the Ignatian Examen?

Most people pray the Examen in the evening, but any consistent time works. The best time is the time you’ll actually keep—after dinner, at bedtime, or during a quiet moment before you sleep. If evenings are chaotic, you can pray it in the car before you go inside or during your nighttime routine.

How long does the daily Examen take?

It can be as short as 3–5 minutes. If you have more time, you can journal or sit in silence. But don’t wait for “perfect conditions.” A short Examen prayed consistently is far more powerful than a long Examen you rarely do.

Is the Examen the same as an examination of conscience?

They’re related, but not identical. An examination of conscience focuses more directly on sin and repentance. The Ignatian Examen includes repentance, but it also emphasizes gratitude and noticing God’s presence throughout the day—forming your heart in hope, not discouragement.

How do I do the Examen when I’m exhausted or distracted?

Keep it tiny: one breath (“Jesus, You’re here”), one gratitude, one honest moment, and one grace request for tomorrow. If you want structure when your brain is tired, use a guided tool like the Daily Examen Journal.

How do I do the Examen with kids?

Make it simple and concrete: “What was good today? What was hard? Where did you feel loved? What do you want to ask Jesus for tomorrow?” A child-friendly guide like My First Examen can make it easier to build a bedtime rhythm.

What if I notice the same sins or struggles every day?

That’s more common than you think—and it’s one reason the Examen is so helpful. Over time, you begin to notice patterns with clarity and compassion. Bring those patterns to Confession, ask for one specific grace to practice, and trust that God works patiently with you.

 

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Conclusion

Motherhood is a gift—it’s a road God can use to sanctify you in profound ways. The Ignatian Examen gives you a simple way to meet God in the middle of your real day: gratitude, honesty, mercy, and hope. If you begin tonight with just a few minutes, you are not “behind.” You are starting. And God loves to meet mothers who return to Him—again and again—with open hands.

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